A busy day on all accounts, but I had a few thoughts for a blog post.
1. I started the book Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi. It has National Bestseller across the top. I picked it up at our local library, they have a little area with books on sale which I love to browse to see if anything catches my eye. This book did a month ago or so but I’m just now starting it. Here’s a line that stood out for me today, “The colors of my dreams” (p.11) and another one, “I decided to indulge myself and fulfill a dream” (p.3). There is something in that second line that elicits a kind of excitement/light going on inside of me. I knew right away that I was reading the right book at the right time. It makes me wonder, contemplate, am I living my dreams? What are the colors of my dreams? (I must confess I often dream of a bed of downy, wooly thyme and little steps that carve out a path amongst it to a secret little spot where one can view the world but the world can not see them.) I think my dreams might have something to do with living a life passionately, with heart, following one’s soul.
2. I realized day lilies are in bloom. As I walked from the front door to the car, I saw that a day lily I transplanted from the backyard to the front is sending up a flower stalk. I am quite happy about this as I think this is an unusual lily, we’ll see when it flowers. I have had it in the back for probably 6 years and it has always struggled in a very heavy soil/dry area and I think it’s only bloomed once or twice. It has hung on for a long time and I am happy to have given it a new home that it likes.
3. I am cooking a huge head of cauliflower for dinner that we bought at last Saturday’s Farmer’s Market in Boulder. It was a whopping $8, a hefty price but even in the store cauliflower is expensive. This one was locally grown and picked very recently and buying local cuts down on our carbon footprint! I am sauteing it in olive oil and letting it’s own water kind of steam it. It gets browned and soft and tasty, tasty good. We will have it with brown rice and a little oven steamed yam.
4. It’s hot out. We’ve turned on the air conditioning for the first time this summer. I know in other areas the fact that we’re turning the air on this late in the game, July 12, must seem too good to be true. It’s that lovely Colorado weather we have here and the fact that we have a lot of shade trees around us.
5. It’s dawned on me that so often we do things with expectation: expectation that we’ll get something, or be rewarded in some way, or get acknowledged and that we even bring this to our spiritual practice. In the last few days I realized that I had been doing my practice with a partial expectation that life will be great and all will be delivered if I just look for it. I read yesterday that we limit what we can receive when we have expectations because our imaginations are small and what the divine can bring is large. When we think we know what we need, then we restrict what is being offered to us. I am contemplating what it would be like to just practice with no hope of anything in return. Practice for the sake of practice, just that.
Well, dinner is served.